Oh Halloween, you are a heartless mistress.

Okay, let me start by saying, I LOVE HALLOWEEN! I love the cooler weather, the pumpkins, the decorations, scary movies on tv, and the costumes.  Mostly though I love the candy.  I have loved candy even as a little kid.  I remember getting the plain M&Ms, the kind that had two different shades of brown, that's how long ago this goes back.  I would open the package, count the candies and arrange them by color.  I would eat the ones with the least amount, usually the tan ones, first and then continue from there.  I would get the Reese's Peanut Butter cups and eat all the edges first, then dive into the peanut butter part.  I did the same with Kit Kat bars too.
I wanted to savor the sugary, sweet goodness that is candy.  I even had giant pixie stix.  I guess if there is a good part to this, I am not a fan of peppermint or it could be really bad.
My love of candy has led me down many paths.  It has been my enemy, friend, comforter, and my make me less boreder. (I know that is not a real word just deal with it.)  I cannot buy candy for my students that is any kind I will eat, or it will not make it to class.
When I was 30 I found out I was a diabetic because of my weight.  I know my love of candy played a part in that as well.  Without her, I would not have gained as much weight.  I was truly in a panic.  I just knew that my love affair with candy would have to come to an end.  I mourned the loss of the candy.  I thought my life was over.  Then, kablamo, I discovered sugar free candy.  NOT as good.  Don't let anybody fool you.  I found though that as I started eating better and exercising, that I don't miss it as much as I used too.  I still will eat candy.  I am not going to lie and say I never touch it, but I can control myself.  Sometimes, I don't enjoy it even when I eat it.
So if you are like me and love Halloween and all the candy, just stop and think, do I need it to survive or do I just want it.

Happy Halloween my spooky Peeps.

“The greatest gift you ever give is your honest self.”
― Mr. Rogers.

Here I go.

When I turned 40, I decided to start a new chapter in my life.  I was tired, overweight and worn out.  I went to San Francisco for my birthday and loved every minute of it.  When I went to visit Alcatraz, I realized I was going to have to climb 13 stories to get to the cell house.  It was not easy.  It was hard and painful, but I did it.  I huffed and puffed all the way to the top.  When I got home I looked at the pictures of myself and did not like how I looked in them.  I guess you never really see yourself as you appear to others.
When I got back to Texas, I switched doctors and I loved her.  She gave me a sense of hope that I had not had in several years.  She told me I had to lose weight or I was going to die.  She hooked me up with a nutritionist.  Before I had ever meet her, I started calling her "The Food Nazi."  I now call her TFN for short.
Was I excited to see her? NO!  Was I happy that I was going to have to change my life style? NO!  Was I determined that I was going to listen to her and do what she told me?  YES!  Has it been easy?  Not in the beginning and sometimes it still sucks, but I am doing it.  I am succeeding and I have even taken up jogging.  Yes this fat girl can jog.
Here are a couple of things I have learned about myself since starting:
1. I had to do it for myself.  I cannot do it for anybody else or because someone is demanding that I do it.
2. I have to have a support system.  I have my friends, family, and TFN in my corner cheering me on.
3. I am capable of more than I ever thought I was.
4. Exercise stinks in the beginning, but will become addicting if you give it a chance.
5. I am good enough, I am smart enough, and doggoneit  people like me. (Stuart Smally)  I have realized that I am all of those things.  I love me and if you don't then you are missing out on a great person.

Peace out peeps.  I will update more later.