What a last two weeks.

Ok, ok, I admit it.  I am a stress eater.  I try really hard to keep it under control, but the beginning of school always gets me.  First, I have to sit in days worth of meetings and trainings.  I am not used to this, I need to be active.  I hate having to sit there and listen to other people tell me things that I may already know.  Also, teachers are the worst students.  They act in a way that you would never accept from a student.  Second, these meeting make me tense and I just want to crawl inside my little turtle shell.  Lastly, although I am fairly flexible and will go with the flow, I work with people who are not.  The complaining really gets to me.

All of these things together, stress me out and I shove food down my mouth as quickly as I can.  I always feel guilty about it afterward.  It really makes me dislike myself when I do it.  I feel as though I have failed somehow.  I will even eat things that I don't like, with the exception of green beans, just to satisfy my need to eat.  The sad thing is, if I was a drinker, I could hide that.  If I was on drugs, I could hide that.  As an eater, that I cannot hide.  You can see it.  People look down on you for that.  It is sad that those vices are perceived as more acceptable than being heavy.

I was not able to work out as much as I would have liked this last week.  I had work responsibilities that kept me from working out.  I hated it.  I miss my friends, I missed my trainer, and I missed the release of stress that comes over me when I work out.  I will have to find someway to replace that when I cannot get to camp.

Lastly, sometimes I really don't like how people see me.  I went on Saturday to two different sporting goods stores to buy new weights for camp.  When a fluffy woman walks in , they don't want to help you and look at you like why are you here?  I walked in and one guy said, they are over there.  As I was walking over there, another employee acted shocked to see me in a store.  What?!?  Not everybody is a size 2.  I cannot wait to go back there and have a Pretty Woman scene to all that wouldn't help me.

Okay enough venting.  I am having a great first week of school.  I am still trying to get back into the routine and learn all the kids names.  I think some of them think I am a bit crazy, but that is a good thing right?

So I am going to try to stay as stress free as possible and keep from stress eating.  I hope you will help to keep me accountable.

Peace out peeps.  I hope you all have a great week.  Me, I am going to keep moving forward and not looking back.