Random thoughts and observations.

I had a frightening experience today.  My face has thinned out so much that when I looked in the mirror today, my mother was staring back at me.  I know that some of you can relate to that.  The worse part of this is that if I look like my mother, then I also look like my grandmother.  Now I love my Mamaw, don't get me wrong, but if you ever see me getting a kinky tight perm and back combing my hair into a beehive on my head.  Shoot me.  I give you permission.

My body is changing.  I have noticed that my skin is getting looser and I have wrinkles where I never had wrinkles before.  I am afraid I am going to look like this when it is all over:

I am glad for the changing though.  I have so much more energy now.  I feel better. I sleep better.  I feel I am in a better mood too.

The only person I am competing with is myself.  This was a hard lesson to learn.  I used to not try if I thought I was not able to do it correctly or like others.  One thing my journey has taught me is that do what you can do and don't worry if you are not keeping up with others.  I have been doing Camp Gladiator since before Thanksgiving and I truly love it.  It is a warm (except for when we are working out in 20 degree weather) and welcoming environment.  There are people of all different fitness levels and sizes.  Some people in my group run marathons.  This used to bother me.  Then I realized that everybody starts somewhere.  Some of them have been exactly where I am now and look what they have accomplished.  So instead of being mad or upset at myself, I just keep my head down and keep trucking on.  I have already made strides, I now can do burpees.  They are not great but I can do them.

I have to do what works for me.  One think I have always hated is someone telling me how I should do something. I know I am not alone in this.  If you tell me to do it, I will do my best to do it my way even if your way is the best.  I have had to let some of that go.  I had to give myself over to CG and the food Nazi and do it there way.  I am seeing results.  Now just because this is the way that works for me, does not mean it will work for you.  I have done WW, Slimfast, starvation....  they did not work for me.  If they work for you, that is great and I am proud for you.  Please don't try to change my way and I will not try to change your way.

My last observation is for my young teenage self and for my female students.  Please know your worth.  You are beautiful just as you are.  You do not have to try and be like anybody else.  Do you!  Do not look at the girls dancing in videos, reality shows, or the skinny supermodels that have been airbrushed on magazines to be your role model.  If you do, you are not being yourself and you are playing into the hands of advertisers.  Be yourself, love yourself, and be good to yourself.  Please do not beat yourself up over not being perfect.  I would hate for you to have to wait until you are 40 to finally realize that you are a great person.

Peace out peeps.  I am going to go and be good to myself and take a nap.  Being fabulous is hard work.